My Pride

My seven years of exile was over, so my family and I arranged to return to Umuofia. I prepared a huge feast in appreciation of their gratitude during my seven years of exile.

When I returned to Umuofia, everything has changed, I found out that many men have renounced their titles and have converted to Christianity. There was a prison built by the white men, establishment of the government court of law as well as the employment of the natives of Umuofia. Everything has fallen apart. I wonder why the Umuofians have not incited violence to rid the village of the white men’s church and oppressive government.

How dare Enoch betrayed us? Violence arises after Enoch unmasked an egwuwu. Enoch has gone deep into the white men’s belief. He left his beliefs behind; the belief that he had lived with for his life. It was a horrible sin to unmask the egwuwu. When the egwuwu and the others went to burn Enoch’s compound, I volunteered myself as I can’t stand the betrayal. Unfortunately, our act was not approved. We were insulted and abused physically. They wound our pride which left scars that would never fade.

Okika stood up during the meeting and called upon to take action against the white men. I agreed as I swear that I will have my vengeance on them. As Okika’s talked, a group of white men approached us. With hatred and rage, I stood up and drew my machete and slashed them with one blow. People were surrounded and whispering amongst themselves. I could see fear inside them. At that moment, I realized no one supported me. I felt defeated and helpless. I decided to write a letter to Umuofia.

Dear the people in Umuofia,

I have struggled with the changes took place in my tribe. I was initially known as one of the strongest and most honorable tribesman, but as the white men began coming in, everything has torn apart. I, Okonkwo had lost my place as a man in my culture, a place now filled with Church and Christian values. When my tribe was erupted in confusion and turmoil, I realized that my tribe is no longer strong and that disappointment is too much for me to handle. I trembled in fear. I feared to become weak like Unoka, which I always resisted in my whole life. I chose to leave, so that I would not have to suffer the pain seeing my tribe turning into an unacceptable way.       

      

My Exile

When my family and I first arrived in Mbanta, we were welcomed warmly by my maternal uncle, Uchendu, the village elder. He gave me a plot of land on which to farm and build a compound for my family.

I admitted that I have worked hard on my new farm with less enthusiasm that I had the first time around. I have toiled all my life because all I wanted was to become one of the lords of the clan but now that possibility was gone. Was it my chi that leads to my failure for achieving lasting greatness? Being in a deep troubling, Uchendu started to advise me to receive the comfort from my motherland gratefully. He made me realized that many have been worse off but I could still rise up.

My best friend, Obrierika was here today. This was his second visit since my exile. He told me about Nwoye but I stopped him because that was what I refused to talk about. I always wanted him to become like me but he was turning like his grandfather – gentle and weak. How could I begotten a son like him? 

Inadvertent Shot

I did not mean to kill him. It was not of my intention. But what was done is done. There is no way to cry over spilt milk. He was a sixteen-year-old son of Ezeudu, dancing the traditional farewell to his father when my gun inadvertently exploded and a piece of iron pierced his heart. A cold shiver ran through my back when I recalled the day when Ezeudu came to my hut and told me not to take part in Ikemefuna’s killing.

Even though I am grieving inside, but I could not cry because I am a man. According to the mandates of tradition, the men from Ezeudu’s quarter will burn my house and kill all my animals to cleanse the village of my sin. Now, I lost everything. All of my life is ruled by the passion to achieve the four titles in my clan and become one of the lords. I had achieved all but now everything is broken. Why should I suffer so grievously for an offense I had committed inadvertently?

I knew that killing a clansman is a crime against the earth goddess, so I must atone by taking my family into exile for seven years. I gathered all my most valuable belongings and took my family to my mother’s natal village, Mbanta. 

Unexpected firing gun during Ezeudu's farewell

Killing of Him

I tried not to think about Ikemefuna on this sleepless night. But the more I resist, the more I thought about him. He lived with me for three years and he even called me “My Father:. He was so wholly absorbed into my family until I had forgotten he was not my own son. Nwoye and Ikemefuna spent all their time together like brothers. They sat in the hut and listened to my manly stories of violence and bloodshed. I loved to tell them how I stalked my victim, overpowered him and obtained my first human head. I am regarded as one of the greatest and well-respected warrior in my clan. I wanted them to become like me, fearless and brave. That is how a man should behave.

After Ikemefuna’s death, everything was bitter. The image was still vivid and my thoughts returned again and again to the boy who was like a son to me. I could not forget how he approached me and I drew my machete and slashed him with one blow. At that moment, I felt ashamed and I knew nothing could be changed but I was afraid to appear weak. Ikemefuna is indeed a son that I never had. I am now haunted by guilt. Men do not grief. Not over a mere boy. I could not show sorrow in public because that was a sign of weakness. Crying is not what a man should do.

Ezinma, my favourite daughter brought me some dishes. When I looked at her, the only thing I regretted was Ezinma should have been born a son because she has the right spirit.

I knew that man should not grief but the lost of Ikemefena has brought such a  big impact into my life. I  will never see him again.

Arrival of Ikemefuna

Gome, gome, gome, gome. I remembered the booming of the hollow metal in the silent night. Darkness held the night of today. I am sitting at the outside of my hut and I could see the poor glooming of lamp oil from my senior wife’s hut. I guess she is busying taking care of the poor Ikemefuna.

Two days ago, I went to the market which was full with the men of Umuofia, all talking in low voices. Ogbuefi Ezeudu announced that a man from Mbaino killed a daughter of my clan. The poor fellow was the wife of Ogbuefi Udo. Anger spilled among us. I was the one chosen to travel to Mbaino to reach for an agreement. The Mbaino tribe offered a virgin and a young man to Umuofia as recompense for their crime. The girl is brought to Ogbuefi Udo;s household. On behalf on my clan, I accepted the boy and he will stay at my household until his fate is decided. Through the forest path returning to my clan, I could see through the eyes of the poor boy that he was so terribly afraid.

I told my wife about Ikemefuna. I thundered at my wife as she questioned me. How dare she question me? Since when she became one of the ndichie of the Umuofia? Right after then, she questioned no more. 

Fear reflected from his eyes when he was first brought into my family